Sorry for the word vomit I am about to produce.
Where have I been? I haven’t posted anything in some time now, and here’s why: doubt, anxiety, lack of inspiration, fear of failing and life. A week passed by and then two, three, four.. and so on before I realized I just all together stopped. When I would think about posting something again, there would be this little voice in my head saying: no one misses the ameture articles! What if you write something bad? What if you never write another blog again? I felt that I was letting down the few supporters I had and myself slowly. I was worried that i’ll never be as good as some of my favorite food bloggers, some of the people who inspired me to start one of my own. The fear of not amounting to anything paralyzed me from trying in the first place. Add that fear in the back of my mind along with daily life stresses and I found myself extremely unhappy. I can feel this energy and want inside of me and I don’t know what for. It’s the most frustrating thing ever! I want to do so many things that my mind can’t make up where to start or how to start and then I give up even trying because i’m scared i’ll fail and waste precious time. So I chalked blogging up to another one of my half baked ideas and kissed it goodbye… but as of lately i’ve been doing some self reflecting and I found out that why give up on something that never really took off to begin with? It’s not like I have anything to lose if this doesn’t amount to anything. Sometimes I have to get out of my own way to do something (hopefully) extraordinary. So what if all of my posts aren’t big hits? I’ll risk putting my creativity and soul on display in hopes of feeling fulfilled and accomplished. It just sucks sometimes when you get into a creative rut and nothing happens… for a while… almost a month or two.. But L will not let that stop me. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and trust yourself that you’ll find your mojo again.
To all of your struggling out there to create anything: blog post, art, music, literature, podcasts… don’t give up. We’re all amateurs at some point and your ideas matter! Even if you think it’s silly, or no one will listen/care… sometimes it’s not about the audience. Sometimes it’s about what gives you spirit and joy. I can already tell you that typing this out I feel just a little bit better about life and more optimistic, even if no one reads this- i’ll feel great for hitting that publish button. I’ll feel a sense of ownership, accomplishment and happiness, and that is way more valuable than popularity.
So hello everyone! I’m back! I’m ready to post about everything and anything! Just like Babe Ruth (and Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story) once said:
“Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”.
~With all of my love,